Ellers så har ting føltes lettere de siste dagene etter at jeg har vært litt deppa i det siste grunnet en kombinasjon av flere faktorer som dårlig søvn, skuffelse over juniværet (som jeg forventer bedre av), overdreven følsomhet og sensitivitet (som dog ikke er bare kjipt, for jeg føler at det gjør meg enda mer omsorgsfull og at det hjelper på kreativiteten) og ting som ikke har gått etter planen (som på fredag da jeg grunnet dårlig søvn våknet med hodepine og slapphet og så fant ut at det hadde gått ut 1800(!) kr fra kontoen min som det ikke fantes noen god forklaring på så jeg måtte ta ut penger, sperre kortet mitt (ringte DNB og de anbefalte det for sikkerhets skyld) og bestille nytt kort som kommer om en ukes tid, noe som igjen gjorde meg så stressa at jeg begynte å gråte på Fontenehuset og sånt). Men så har jeg sovet bedre denne helgen og jeg får snart en etterlengtet pause fra virkeligheten fordi jeg skal være med på Hvassertur med Fontenehuset fra tirsdag til fredag og det blir så fint for meg. Det blir tre dager med aktiviteter, hyggelige folk, masse ting jeg kan tegne og male og ikke minst tre dager der jeg ikke har noe jeg MÅ. Og det bare føles som en slags miniferie jeg trenger og som vil gjøre meg godt og jeg gleder meg så mye <3 Neste blogginnlegg kommer antakelig når jeg er tilbake og vil sannsynligvis være en illustrert reisedagbok fra turen, så det blir kult!
Noe annet helt magisk er at ting faktisk er bestilt nå, så til høsten skal jeg og Daniel til London i september og jeg vil få sett både Paddington og Hadestown på teater <3 Jeg må bare ordne noen ETA-greier, men jeg har masse penger på kosekontoen så jeg kommer til å ha litt over 10 000 oppsparte kr antakelig til alt jeg trenger å bruke penger på mens vi er i London og det er så fint å ha det å se frem til.
Og det finnes ny musikkvideo for Sara Bareilles sin nye sang Home og det er en sånn påminnelse om hvor mye jeg elsker musikken hennes, i tillegg til at hun føles som en venn selv om hun ikke er det fordi jeg vet at hun selv har slitt med psyken og jeg tror hun er litt som meg; noen som trenger å skape for å være i balanse, så jeg føler liksom at vi er litt like på en måte som er med på å gjøre at musikken hennes og stemmen hennes alltid treffer meg så sterkt:
Og hun gir ut nytt album i august, så det finnes flere ting å glede seg til. Så det finnes alltids lyspunkter heldigvis :)
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Men jeg har delt denne illustrasjonen på Instagram og Facebook, men jeg kan jo dele den her og:
For jeg ble innmari fornøyd med denne illustrasjonen av en svært musikalsk rotte faktisk. OG jeg skrev en historie om ham som for så vidt også er delt på Facebook, men som jeg nå tenkte å ta meg den frihet å dele her og siden jeg ble veldig fornøyd med skildringene her. Som vanlig i ting jeg skriver så er det mer stemninger og beskrivelser enn faktiske ting som skjer, men jeg syns jeg fikk til noen ganske fine beskrivelser som gjorde at jeg ble litt glad i Ratbert som karakter. Så jeg tenkte å dele teksten min om ham og så kommer neste innlegg om noen dager. Vi bables og god fornøyelse <3
Rhapsody in Blue or Things to imagine about Ratbert (preferably read with the music piece Rhapsody in Blue in the background, setting the mood)
Imagine a smoky bar. The type you see in a Crime Noir where the smoke hangs around, like a guest not knowing when to leave, and everything feels sophisticated and grown-up, as if you may never be old enough for it. It feels like Gershwin, like Rhapsody in Blue, each song lingers a little extra after finishing, as if they want to soak up the atmosphere completely. And somehow, though it shouldn't, it feels comforting. There's a warmth to the place and the jazzy music helps. And in the middle of this moment is Ratbert, the rat, who plays the upright bass and loves to become one with the music. It's so easy to feel his passion while playing through the classics along with the pianist and a soulful squirrel lady with a voice that feels like Mocca in a way a voice shouldn't, but her voice still does. Ratbert plays and everything feels right, he plays and the evening seems eternal, he plays and feels a little like he is floating in the galaxy with the Moon a little to the left and the stars all around. He feels like it's just him and the music and though it won't last forever, because moments like that never does, it feels eternal now and that's all that matters. And suddenly he has this memory; one of how everything began for him, how he first fell in love with music and jazz especially.
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Let us imagine a red house now, one that feels inviting in the way you'd want from a house that does its job correctly. It has a black tiled roof and contains four people, Ratbert being the youngest of the lot. His dad has a piano because of a perhaps misguided plan to at some point write a musical, but he's too busy working to play and the piano just stands there collecting dust. Imagine that we've gone back in time and that this memory is drenched in sepia-tones, imagine that Ratbert is but a kid rat aged three with a mom who works in a bank, but shares her husband's love of musicals and goes around singing show tunes all the time, often without thinking about it, it just happens. Ratbert has a sister which is three years older. She loves dancing and is quite boring because she's started school and often is too occupied to give Ratbert the attention he craves. Her name is Rebecca and Ratbert will often wonder why the fact that he's a rat is important enough to acknowledge in his name and not hers. His working theory is that she's just more ratlike while he could easily be mistaken for being a mouse instead, but of course this is just a theory, he doesn't really know. Imagine that this is a loving family, but that Ratbert still often feels lonely and that it's this loneliness that makes him look for something that helps and then, for reasons unknown, there is one day when it feels like a buzz in the air is leading him to the piano. He starts playing and it's of course not really music to any ears, but there's this immediate connection that leads to him learning the piano first and then the saxophone and the bass, learning that the bass is what he enjoys the most. Being three Ratbert will just think things like "this was fun and felt right" when it comes to playing and not be really introspective, but later the local newspaper will ask what drew him to the music and he will say that it felt like home. It isn't like that isn't also true.
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Let's return to the present. It's close to midnight and Ratbert is at last home. He will try to sleep soon, but at the present his mind is so full that it will take some time to settle into sleepiness. Ratbert has this wish that is meant for everyone. It's the hope that they find something that gives them what music gives him. It's this feeling of freedom and salvation, this feeling that the world may suck in a thousand different ways, but when he plays everything is forgotten. When he plays only the present exists while it feels like time is standing still. Ratbert absolutely loves that feeling. He can't imagine what he would have done without it. And it's often hard and tiresome being a musician, but when he plays it's just like magic, then he feels so lucky that playing jazz on the bass with the pianist and the vocalist gets to be his job. Underneath half a moon in an appartment around midnight Ratbert thinks of the joy of being in a world full of music and then, finally, he lets out a yawn and goes to bed, knowing that there will be a chance to once again play the very next day.
So he goes to sleep, dreaming musical dreams all through the night.
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